I feel like sharing my story, maybe to lighten the burden I am feeling or maybe to help someone out there to learn from my mistakes and maybe the love of my life can find it in his heart to forgive my errors, perhaps if he reads my confession and apology. I want to unburden myself.
Four years ago, I met the most amazing man. We met in a night bus going to Enugu from Lagos. I was going to visit my family and spend my first annual leave with them. We bonded over the trip and chatted for several weeks. Gabriel is a business man with several branches. He was going for a business meeting in Enugu, his flight was cancelled and thank God for that cos that was how we met.
After I returned to Lagos, Gabriel came looking for me. He wanted a relationship that would lead to marriage. I loved him for that. I love a man who does not beat about the bush. Within five months of dating, he had proposed and arranged to meet my parents. My parents were a bit skeptical cos Gabriel is none Igbo. Igbo parents want their daughters to marry an Igbo. But Gabriel proved worthy of being more than 100 Igbo suitors. Of course, he won them over with money and respect and his love for me.
By the end of that year, we got married and I was so happy. My first year of marriage was total bliss too. We were expecting to start having children also very quickly. But things were not happening the way we planned. We went through two years of marriage and no children after actively trying. We started fertility treatments.
By the third year, the strain of the expectations started getting to us. My husband was trying his best not to show his disappointment and support me but I knew he was not happy. The fruit of the womb became a steady prayer point in our home. I saw how intense he was praying. And God answered us through IVF. I got pregnant with twins.
We were overjoyed over the moon. All was going well but we lost the baby before it could make it to the 12 week of pregnancy. I was devastated. I wanted to die. My husband must have felt the same. We immediately tried to do another IVF, it failed….we did another…it failed again. Desperation was set in. I was depressed beyond words. My husband’s business was needing his time more and more and I felt alone and upset that he was always travelling instead of him to be around with me through this trying period.
That was when my husband booked us a one month vacation in Dubai. He wanted us to go on holiday to rest…away from work and pressure of every month failing to get pregnant. My body had gone through so much…I could not take it anymore. After the booking and careful planning of the one month vacation, my husband got a very big contract in the middle belt. It was a contract worth over 2 billion. There was no way he could say no.
Despite the disappointment, we decided that I go to Dubai alone…that my hubby will join me like 2 weeks after he had initiated all the business preparations. I settled in the luxury life of Dubai but it was a very lonely life. Everywhere you go to in Dubai is luxurious …the glamorous life was very tempting. I was supposed to be enjoying but hubby was not there with me. I was upset with hubby for leaving me in such a time that I was feeling so vulnerable. But he encouraged me to have fun, go out and see the city and have adventures.
Two weeks after, hubby still could not pull away. I met a Zimbabwe business man who was lodging in our hotel. We became friends and somehow, we started hanging out. I did not tell him I was married for some reason…so this man and I hung out a few days…and unfortunately, he became very fond of me. I needed company. We went out one day and he told me he liked me. That was when I told him I was married. He was so disappointed.
For like 2 days, we didn’t see or talk….the third day, he showed up at my hotel room door and told me he cannot stop thinking of me. I tried to tell him that we would not work out anything cos I had no intentions of cheating on my husband. He asked me to spend just one day with him, cos he was leaving Dubai back to his country the next day. He promised to be a gentle man. I agreed.
So we had a day out. We talked alot and he was like, he wishes I was single cos he is completely in love with me just after one week of hanging out with me. As we got to my door, he gave me flowers he bought for me and said he would help me place the flower in a water jar…then he followed me inside my room. He placed the flowers in a flower jar with some water and I thought he was about too leave when he asked for a good bye k!zz.
Instantly, I said no…I kept saying no but as if he was sed-c!ng me…he kept pleading with some very s-3xy tones and pleading eyes….he said he just wanted to remember me for ever…It was stupid of me but I thought it was harmless ….abi….its just a k!zz right…I agreed for a k!zz on the cheek but he held my face and went straight for the mouth and tongue…I kept telling myself this was wrong but..it was his last night and he had been a good friend and companion…
From just a harmless k!zz it became very sens-val, he went pinching my n-!pples in the process…he began to cuddle me and I tried to say no but my body seemed to have a mind of itself…I began to [email protected] and it seemed like that encouraged him more…we ended up making love that night and I thought this was going to be my worst secret of my entire life. He left the next day and left his number for me to be in touch. My husband could not come to Dubai eventually. I spent six weeks all by myself until I returned to Lagos.